Category: Uncategorized

Gratitude

Published on by mbcoudalLeave a comment

So here we are. The season of gratitude. Thanksgiving.

We know gratitude:

  1. Enlarges us.
  2. Boosts our immune system.
  3. Connects us to beauty.
  4. Keeps us rooted in the present moment.
  5. Pushes away criticism and jealousy.
  6. Embraces the giver as well as the receiver.

How do we make our thank yous more than platitudes?

  1. Make it general. Don’t expect anything back.
    • Thank God or the earth. “Even after all this time the sun never say to the earth, “You Owe Me.” Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.” (Don’t know who said this.)
  2. Make it specific.
    • As the March Hare said, “Say what you mean.” Mean what you say.
  3. Find a tribe of gratitude givers.
    • on Facebook, Richard Paul Evans hosts a GratiTuesday (I’ve not read his books but met him at an event – super nice guy!)
  4. Give 7 hugs a day.
    • After a hug, we feel so warm and cuddly, then we’re able to say grateful things.
  5. Woke up today!
    • What else could we ask for?

Some of today’s thoughts were inspired from #spiritchat — a soulful Sunday morning Twitter chat about a spiritual topic. The tweets fly fast and furious. This morning, I couldn’t chat because I had to borrow a camera from a friend.

This is the second reporting/photography job I’ve had in a couple of weeks. (Am reporting on an East Village Korean church for the Interpreter magazine.)

So grateful for friends (and their generosity!)

I’m also grateful for:

  • twitter (social media) and #spiritchat
  • photography work
  • the sun warming me
  • the crunch of dead leaves beneath my feet
  • the warmth of hugs
  • my great health
  • my optimism
  • old and new friends

Check out the founder of spirit chat, Kumud Ajmani’s blog.

What are

New Orleans: Thank you message in the grotto o...
New Orleans: Thank you message in the grotto of Our Lady of Guadalupe Church; added by those for whom prayer or miracles were granted (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

you grateful for?

Quitting NaNoWriMo

Published on by mbcoudal3 Comments

2014-Participant-Facebook-ProfileIt hasn’t even started and I’m quitting. At the beginning of November, I always feel a push, urge, desire, impulse to jump into the NaNoWriMo waters.

Some of the reasons I’ve loved joining this movement of National Novel Writing Month:

  1. Love saying NaNoWriMo (Nanno Wry Moe!). It’s fun to say. It’s hip.
  2. Dig the curriculum for the young writers’ program for my afterschool creative writing classes. They’re so funny! Kids love the worksheets and lesson plans.
  3. A social and structured movement that gets people to write and write fast?! — What’s not to love?
  4. All the Twitter #amwriting hashtag love. #writesprints and timed writing. I write well with a pack of writers. I’m a woman who runs with wolves (and words).

But I ain’t gonna do it. Instead,

  1. Going to clean my tiny little closet, stuffed full of clothes from so many seasons.
  2. Support my darlings — the girls are in a play and H.’s applying for college.
  3. Plan Thanksgiving and Christmas road trips. (If we have friends or family stay at our place, it’d also be nice not to leave our apartment such a disaster.)
  4. Might organize some holiday parties.
  5. I just completed another writing challenge — the blogging challenge (posted almost every day for 31 days). Phew.
  6. I already finished one novel this year and I’d like to shop that baby around before I produce more literary crap.
  7. Want to embark on a week of querying for possible magazine articles. I’ve had good luck when I did this before.
  8. I don’t like waking so early or staying up so late just to push my word count up. I love sleep.
  9. I need some time to update my websites.
  10. Want a haircut; maybe an eyelash extension. Manicure?
  11. Freelance work pays; NaNoWriMo doesn’t.

But for anyone who enters NaNoWriMo this year, I wish you happy writing. Fun times. New friends. High word count! And much coffee.

Related articles

On Retreat

Published on by mbcoudalLeave a comment

Leaving beautiful NYC today.

IMG_1319

I am retreating, heading out to Shelter Island for the night.

This week — of ER hospital visits, the launch of a big editing project, my teaching, encouraging my Number One Son to prepare his college applications, helping one of my girls’ with a birthday dinner party – has wiped me out. None of these experiences individually has the potential to floor me. But combined, I feel depleted.

I need a minute to unwind with a magazine or a walk or a good long conversation with a friend. (Or even the discovery of a cozy quiet corner to go back to work on my big project.)

When my kids were little, my friend K.P. told me that every year she tried to get away for a retreat – I think she mentioned Kirpalu. But the expense!

When I was on salary as a staff writer, biz trips served as a retreat in a way. I could focus solely on work. I didn’t have to cook meals or clean up.

I don’t really travel for work anymore, living the freelance life. So I’ve joined the lovely St. Paul and St. Andrew community for a day apart.

Here are some pics from Quinipet on Shelter Island.

IMG_7213.JPG

IMG_7210.JPG

IMG_7214.JPG

IMG_7224.JPG

Extraordinary Meal Planning

Published on by mbcoudal4 Comments

I stave off uncertainty by systematizing.

We have always been very loose about dinner times and meal planning. But we always aim to sit down to dinner together.

Since this school year’s launch, we have set a goal to eat dinner at 6:30 every night. And now we have a dinner plan:

  • Meatless Monday
  • Taco Tuesday
  • Prince Spaghetti Wednesday
  • Comfort Food Thursday
  • Fish Friday*
  • **Clean the Refrigerator Saturday
  • **Sunday Supper

*Friday might be pizza. (The kids don’t like fish).
**Saturday and Sunday might be FFY, Fend For Yourselves. 

So far, so good.

Chris loves to eat but he takes forever to cook. And he is a messy cook. So having this schedule get keeps him moving and motivated. (I think the Parkinson’s meds have affected his executive function/planning.)

Besides, the kids are starving when they walk in the door from various afterschool activities at 6:30 pm. (They leave the house at 7:35 am — long day!)

Last night, it was FFY, because the girls and I went to see Pippin on Broadway for their birthday. How fun was that! The understudy was on and I can’t imagine the real lead, Kyle Dean Massey, could be any better than the understudy, Mike Schwitter. (Chris’s friend John Dossett played the king! Other highlights: Rachel Bay Jones as Catherine and Lucie Arnaz as Grandma Bertha.)

I think the message of the musical is find the extraordinary in your ordinary.

It’s a highlight of the day to eat dinner together. It’s the ordinary.

IMG_7116.JPG

IMG_7115.JPG

happy 15th birthday!

Published on by mbcoudal6 Comments

girls, you have taught me that life is not all about me. that i should put away my phone and be in the moment.
you have taught me to embrace that our family is different. and different is good.

girls

when i started motherhood with you girls 15 years ago, we were just like every other family. or so it seemed. two parents and three kids.
but then a few years in, something seemed a little off with daddy. we discovered he had Parkinson’s. i felt sad, mad, confused, ripped off, empathetic, impatient, frustrated. all that. more. i felt love too. and hope. now and then.
but you girls kept me rooted in the moment. i couldn’t be all about me.
mom, i need to go to daycare.
mom, check my hair for nits.
mom, sign my permission form.
mom, make me dinner. mom, i don’t eat meat.
mom, come to my game.
mom. mom. mom. i’m going out now.
mom, what time do i have to be home?
mom, can i go to the rocky horror picture show?
(i know you threw some pleases in there too…)
and because of you, i stopped worrying about me. i worried about you kids. and i still worried about dad, of course. but i learned to do more than worry.
i learned to enjoy and laugh. and find the good in everyone. every single person. (god, i do try.) and i learned about pop songs. and i learned about chicago math.
i learned about myself because of you. when one of you was a bit dramatic or a bit emotional or a bit of a good storytelller — i thought, hmmmm, she might’ve gotten that from me…
so maybe it is all about me, after all.
no. wait, today’s your birthday. it’s all about you.
you and you. my two. my girlies. my darlings. happy birthday. i got lucky when i got you.

Flowers for My Friends’ Wedding

Published on by mbcoudal2 Comments

I am so happy to be helping two of my friends with their wedding flowers next Saturday.

white flowersThis is the third time I’ve done flowers for a wedding. It is a lot of work and a lot of fun, and only slightly stressful. I never studied floral design, but I think I have a pretty good eye.

Another reason I am super-excited for Bridget and Amanda’s wedding is that this will be my first lesbian wedding. I know. I know. I am a little behind the times. I have many LGBT friends and you might think I’ve been to several. So proud my state honors same-sex unions!

I love love. And I love these two women — colleagues and friends — and super happy to celebrate their union.

Although, to be honest, I’m not the biggest fan of marriage, I am a huge fan of love. And I am a hopeless romantic. (Just because my marriages have been hard doesn’t mean everyone’s have to be!)

My brilliant friend Emily created a beautiful Pinterest board to guide the helpers on the flowers and the wedding vibe. I think this is one of the beauties of Pinterest — as a visual dictionary to inspire and guide.

So, day 5 of my writing challenge to write every day for the month of October, on this Sunday, I celebrate love and marriage and same sex unions! And flowers!

Related articles

People’s Climate March – Wordless Wednesday

Published on by mbcoudalLeave a comment

Joined hundreds of thousands on Sunday after church to march.IMG_6877.JPG

These ladies from Code Pink were there — looking awesome and fiesty femininsty gorgeous. Their message? War is not green. Yes. IMG_6876.JPGAnd tons of kids. And patient parents. We had to wait on 72nd Street for about an hour before we could feed in to the march. IMG_6849.JPGHere we are passing by Columbus Circle. It felt like the march opened up here and we could look around. All the humanity. IMG_6854.JPGI like their sign that said, “We have solutions.” It wasn’t just a march where people pointed out the problems. Although there was some of that. Vegans educated us on the reality that cows are a huge contributor to greenhouse gas emissions. IMG_6842.JPGThere was a lot of music. But, as in any march, my favorite is “We shall overcome!” I melt when I hear that at a march. IMG_6857.JPG

There were a lot of young people. We all walked for hours. So fun. IMG_6859.JPG

Talking Transitions

Published on by mbcoudal8 Comments

One thing I love is curiosity. The other night, on the way home from my co-working space, new work city, I spotted this pop up tent at Canal and 6th Avenue. I wanted to know what this random townhall was all about.

It is a place for New Yorkers to say what matters to them about the city. I didn’t talk to anyone. I felt shy. Some dudes were drumming. The Talking Transition tent didn’t seem a real social place when I stopped by. Though I’m sure the place gets hopping with cool events, panels, and cultural offerings.

I just played around with an iPad questionnaire. The Talking Transition tent is not affiliated with the new mayoral team; it’s a private effort to get people to converse, especially the less-than-affluent people who have not felt they were heard in the Bloomberg years.

I voted for di Blasio. We went to college together though he was a year ahead of me. We lived in the same NYU dorm — super-nice guy. Back then, he went by the name Bill Wilhelm. He changed it because his father suffered post-traumatic stress and was cruel, so Bill took his mother’s name. Sometimes, my kids want to go by my last name. So I get that. That’s cool.

And the transition tent was cool. You’re invited to write on a sticky note what you want to happen in the city.

I wrote that I wanted more bike lanes and Citibike extended to the Upper West Side. Sure, it’s great for me to use my own bike. But sometimes, if I stay late somewhere, I’d like to subway or cab it home. Citibike is perfect for that.

That’s another thing I love about myself — in some small way, I have been a leader in the bike culture in New York City. I have been riding a bike in the city for decades.

The city just keeps getting better for bicyclists. And biking is such a cheap, healthy, and eco-friendly way to get around.20131117-152933.jpg

20131117-152955.jpg

“Talking Transition has created a new gathering place for New Yorkers to talk about the future of the city. Open 9AM – 9PM daily November 9th – 23rd, join for events, activities, food, and culture, and come to talk transition.” At Sixth Avenue and Canal, right by the #1 Train.

Earlier this summer, Cat and I were biking in Riverside Park
Earlier this year, Cat and I were biking in Riverside Park
Related articles

Caption Correction

Published on by mbcoudal1 Comment

“That is so awkward!” Charlotte said in the cab.

See, I had just posted a picture from her soccer game on my Instagram and it flipped over, as usual, to Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter too.

I tagged Charlotte and captioned the pic, “That’s my girl, on the ball.” I noticed some friends and family liked and cheered.

Only my picture wasn’t of my Charlotte. It was another kid named Charlotte. My Charlotte was right behind her.

“What can I say?” I defended myself. (I can be defensive.) “It was bright – you were far across the field.”

“But I don’t even have those shoes!”

I could not claim that I was confused by the usual screams from the sidelines.

No one was yelling, “Go, Charlotte!” or anything, because it was Silent Sunday. Parents were not allowed to yell, neither were the coaches.

For this one day, soccer was like golf. We watched intently. We concentrated. It was peaceful. Until the cab ride when one of my favorite subjects pointed out that I had misidentified her. Then, it was so awkward!

Below you can obviously see that the first pic is not my Charlotte, but the next one is. I think.

20131027-182045.jpg

20131027-182125.jpg

Biking Adventure

Published on by mbcoudalLeave a comment
20130918-101224.jpg
my view while teaching. And the shadow of my students
20130918-101239.jpg
This is an awesome place to explore.
20130918-101251.jpg
Along the West Side bikeway
20130918-101305.jpg
Around the uptown Fairway
20130918-101316.jpg
The George Washington Bridge and the little red lighthouse creep up on you

20130918-101324.jpg

20130918-101339.jpg
The detour under the highway

Yesterday I took a long bike ride, from where I was teaching — around Central Park and 77th to 180th and Broadway for my girlfriends’ craft club.

I took the bikeway. Around the uptown Fairway, I had to detour under the West Side Highway.

Like when I run, when I ride, I am not fast. That gives me time to talk to myself. And time to think. Too often, I scold myself. So last night, I was trying just to be. Just to notice.

Notice the generosity of the Hudson River. Notice the crazy summer flowers that refuse to believe summer is almost over.

Coming back home, in the complete dark, I did not have so much fun. Many places along the path are pitch black and I don’t have a light. I need more light.

Related articles