Too Many Friends?

Published on by mbcoudalLeave a comment

I like to read book reviews. That way, I feel I’ve kind of read the book. So after reading a Q&A with Brian McLaren, “A New Kind of Christianity” in the UMReporter, I thought “This guy and me — we are on the same page. We should be friends.”

I didn’t want to be real friends, just jokey cyberfriends. So I Facebooked him. He would not me be my first friend on Facebook whom I have never met in person. Brian and I have several mutual friends, including Jim Wallis.

Yup, Bri was on Facebook. I found his profile but instead of a picture of himself, there was a picture of his book. A cool book cover with a vine-covered Celtic cross. It was the book that had the review I liked. Not a review actually. Even easier to read than an actual whole book review — a Q&A.

“Great, we’ll be cyberfriends,” I thought. We are both into the New Age Christianity Movement mentality. “Good ‘ole Bri,” I think as I clicked on the handy-dandy, “Add as Friend” button. And you know what? It said that Bri has “too many friends.” Yup, he topped out at 4,813 friends.

Now who sets the limit of friendship? Did Bri tell Facebook? “When I hit 4,813, I’m done. No more. Basta!” Or did Facebook say, “This guys’ friends are clogging up our works, like photos on a hard drive, slowing our system down? He’s done!”

I heard this happened to a friend of mine with Don Cheadle. She actually had a tenuous friendship with him and wanted to Friend him. And yup, too many friends for good old Don, too.

Now, I can kind of understand Don Cheadle having too many friends. He’s a movie star and a director and well, famous. But have any of you ever heard of Brian McLaren? What’s so great about him? Why does he get to have so many friends? I’m just like Bri and I still have room for friends.

Also, what’s all this about a new brand of Christianity if there aren’t room for more friends? I don’t know. I’m digressing. That’s the point of a blog I guess.

What I’m really trying to say is “Why does Bri have more friends than me? Why can’t I develop a cult following like Bri?” I’m going to assume it has something to do with his book cover and the fact that I don’t currently have a book out right now. Let alone a cool, hip, rethink church book.

No, in case you’re wondering, I’m not jealous. I’m just curious. Why Bri? And why not me?

Interval Training

Published on by mbcoudal1 Comment

Wow! I think I know everything. I don’t. I.e., interval training.

Today at lunch time, I met up with a friend. She introduced me to running in intervals. We ran for 5 minutes and walked for 1 minute. Then we ran for 5 minutes and walked for one. And so on. We did about 7 of these bursts of running for 5 and walking for 1. You get the idea.

It was way fun. It was way better than just trying to push myself to cross my 13-minute barrier of running. That’s my usual routine — run for 13 minutes, then walk home, dejected that I couldn’t run longer or farther.

This interval training extends the work out. My friend figured I ran about three and a half miles for 45 minutes. We ran from 120th to Riverbank State Park at 144th Street. This park is genius — an awesome track and other facilities over a sewage treatment facility. It is, actually, lovely. Lilacs blooming around the track’s perimeter. (Flowering trees make me weak in the knees.)

Only problem with interval training is that after 1 minute of walking, it would just feel so good to keep walking. I think this kind of running for me will work best when running with a friend.

You totally get the endorphin rush of running. And that, of course, is why I run.

Christian Ashram

Published on by mbcoudalLeave a comment
Dear R.,

Great to see you and meet you at the Religion Communication Congress in Chicago. Great event!

Really enjoyed the article on the Christian Ashram: “Ashram draws followers from across country” by Mallory McCall, Apr 23, 2010.

I recently spent the night at a retreat center/monastery with my son. It was a little spooky AND very peaceful. Here is my blog about it. https://mbcoudal.wordpress.com/2010/04/01/greymoor-ecumenical/

Retreats! I love the Women’s Division-sponsored Schools of Christian Mission. For me — to learn, to pray, to sing, to share meals, to worship, to simply be! It is so restorative!

Also, I’ve recently been thinking about retreats as an authentic experience with God. We often hear about Eastern faiths that include meditative practices. Yet Christian faith has a long history of meditation as a spiritual practice as well. We all need that direct and unfiltered time with God. I believe this is the reason that world religions which include and encourage retreats are so popular – in this multitasking world, people need time apart.

In the United Methodist Reporter article, Sandra Hancock says she waited until her children were grown to experience the Christian ashram. Yet, I encourage and invite women and parents with children of all ages not to wait. Consider a retreat with their local United Methodist Women or Conference School of Mission now. I’ve taken all three of my kids to schools of mission. They love them. Tons of schools of mission happen all over the United States, often in June – at retreat centers, college campuses, church basements – and they are awesome.

To learn more about School of Christian Mission in your area, ask your local United Methodist Woman or United Methodist Conference leader. – mb

PS I’m cc’ing colleagues who might be interested in the UMReporter article. http://umportal.org/article.asp?id=6677

Cafes in the Village

Published on by mbcoudalLeave a comment

image

Is there anything more exquisite than fresh flowers, coffee, an apple tart, art? “Smile though your heart is breaking,” sings Sinatra in the background.

The ladies at the table across from me are talking about their eating habits, the neuroscience of happiness, and a friend of theirs who is “a very good writer.”

As I wait for Hayden at this week’s Bat Mitvah service down the block, I stopped at this cafe, Di Fiore Marquet Cafe on East 12th. It is lovely. The Village really feels like a village.

Everyman News

Published on by mbcoudal1 Comment

This book is again overdue at the library. I’m returning it today.

The subtitle is “The Changing American Front Page.” This awesome book by Michele Weldon is chock-full of really interesting facts about trends in journalism. One trend? Feature-style writing is taking over the front page.

The casual tone of bloggers is seeping into the mainstream. Of course, I like that. I like that blogging, too, is seen as journalism. In 2008, seven out of eight presidential candidates attended the second annual YearlyKos convention for bloggers. Everyone was there except Joe Biden. Awww, Joe, you missed that party.

Another trend? Ever since Katrina and 9/11, journalists have paid more attention to “unofficial” sources. That is, if you only listened to You’re-doing-a-heckova-job-Brownie, “official” sources, you’d never know there were people sleeping in the Astrodome in New Orleans. The person on the street keeps us honest. And keeps us real.

The shared emotional experience of 9/11 made us want to talk about the news from a more personal POV. There was little in the way of facts at first, but there was lots in the way of feelings.

I have to say I struggle with this at work where I get the feeling that the old guard wants more detached journalism, more news, less personal voice, less narrative, less feature-style reporting. Features = my specialty.

See, I want to present stories in all their emotional rawness. I want to present the human angle. And I want to get the facts straight, research the quotes, remain objective.

No wonder this writer, dear reader, feels confused.

There’s lots of juicy bits in this book for journalists: in 2005, 73 percent of all the Pulitzer-prize winning stories had anecdotal or narrative leads. People dig narrative. It hits you in the heart AND the head.

I’m just sorry I have to return “Everyman News” before I’ve finished it. But that may be another trend. We read less. And then, we keep things out of the library too long and have to pay a fine.

Any way, if you’re looking for me, I’ll be at the New York Public library. http://www.nypl.org/locations/morningside-heights

Big Answers on Small Screens

Published on by mbcoudalLeave a comment

I like knowing where to find answers to life’s mysteries.

“And the answer is seen on that little screen. The answer is seen on that screen,” sung to the tune of the “Blowing in the Wind.” Everybody now, join in.

Ken Medema improvised this song at the Religion Communication Congress in Chicago this weekend right after hearing Jeffrey Cole, director for the Center for the Digital Future at University of Southern California. Like so much of the RCCongress 2010, Medema and Cole were brilliant. 

We are finding answers to life’s mysteries on small screens — for most of us, on our phones. In the near future, 5 billion out of the world’s 6 billion people will have cell phones. We will use our phones more than our computers or televisions (or iPads?).

I don’t know what this mean for people (like me) looking for big answers.  

Cole reported that in 35 years the amount of time we spend in front of screens has doubled. In 1975, we spent 16 hours in front of screens. In 2010, we spent 34 hours per week in front of screens.

That’s a lot. Too much, really, doncha think?

When is the TV turn off week? (To find out, I’ll Google TV Turn Off Week.) Let’s make it this week. I’m going to have my children turn off their Xbox and laptops. And yes, their cell phones. (You may want to share your experience or opinion on TV Turn Off Week on this blog. Or don’t. Just go outside and take a walk in the park.)

I just walked in Grant Park with my aunt. We wandered. We found a bench to sit. We people watched. We dog watched.

We discussed books we’d read. I told her how I loved “Let the Great World Spin” by Colum McCann. She didn’t really like “Wolf Hall.” Both were book club selections. So was “The Happiness Project.” I told her how in that book Gretchen Rubin describes having to put ‘Wander’ up on her checklist of things to do. We have trouble wandering. Aunt Kathy told me about a woman who followed Oprah’s advice for a year. We are searching.

We are searching the internet; we are asking each other. We are wandering. I am writing this on the plane from Chicago. A man just walked down the aisle with a tee shirt that said, “Not all those who wander are lost.”

So, let’s follow that advice and not act lost. Let’s pretend that when we wander we find the answers. Let’s pretend that the answer will come as we wander. Let’s pretend that the screens will reveal answers.

I read in the New York Times that James Cameron showed his film, “Avatar,” to indigenous peoples and leaders in Brazil. He said the real-life plight of preserving the people’s land was like the plight of the animated peoples fighting for their wandering island.

So the answer for the people in Brazil was found on the big screen, which you probably could view on a small screen.

My small answer to this big question is to turn off the screen. Maybe just for a week. During that time I hope to wander and find a spot on a park bench.

Gender Bias in the News

Published on by mbcoudalLeave a comment

One on-going topic at the Religion Communication Congress 2010 is: What makes for a good religion story?

 Manya Brachear, religion reporter at the Chicago Tribune, answered this question in a provocative workshop. She is looking for “emotionally engaging stories.” To find them, she sometimes looks at Google’s Hot Trends. She eavesdrops on what she calls the “national conversation.”

But perhaps the national conversation as determined by the Tribune, the New York Times or Google is not the national conversation that the average Josephine is engaged in. I get the feeling that emotionally engaging stories told by the Average Joe are more impressive than the very same stories told by the Average Jo.

Ms. Brachear described one of her own favorite stories for the Tribune, a story she wrote about Rev. Phil Blackwell of a Chicago United Methodist Church who visited his ageing high school teacher.

Mitch Albom, in his opening address at the Religion Communication Congress, spoke of visiting his former rabbi and helping repair a church in Detroit.

I don’t deny the awesomeness of these men for visiting these awesome people and doing these awesome things. I do think their stories are more appealing to the mainstream because they are about men.

Women, in all their awesomeness, are doing the very same things —  visiting former teachers and helping rebuild churches. But I am not hearing their stories. Those are more ordinary examples of compassion.

I think we need to move the national conversation to one that includes ordinary woman’s stories and women’s issues. What are women’s issues? Women care about compassion, poverty, justice, equality and systemic change. Systemic change is not very sexy. Not as sexy as Tiger Woods’ infidelity, of which I am on record as not being at all interested in. I am not a part of that national conversation.

Thursday’s workshop from the Global Media Monitoring Project 2010 asked Who Makes the News? Pretty eye-opening. In mainstream media, women’s stories are told 24% of the time as opposed to men’s. Looking for an expert on TV? 80% likely you’ll find a man, unless you’re asking in general for a public opinion then perhaps it’s 50% likely to be a woman.

How do writers and editors bring women’s voices into the mainstream so that the stories are more equitably the stories of all of humanity? We can start by just realizing that we have to represent when we write our stories and choose the issues that headline our news. Just engaging in this dialogue and asking these questions, I think, will move us into a new era of  personal, engaging, and good stories. Not just for women, but for everyone!

Lakeshore Run

Published on by mbcoudalLeave a comment

image

Haven’t run in a while so this morning, in Chicago, I told myself you don’t have to run for long, you just have to run for 12 minutes and I did.

I slowed down to take this photo. I walked for 2 minutes. And then I ran for 10 minutes until I found the Dunkin Donuts. Just like in the TV commercial, the idea of a toasted cinnamon raisin bagel with butter and a hazelnut coffee really inspired me. That goal made the morning run fun. And I am not a paid sponsor.

Power of Interfaith

Published on by mbcoudalLeave a comment

“Mercy and compassion of the Christian community,” Ingrid Mattson says. She refers to the National Council of Churches republishing of a book on Islam by Marston Speight shortly after 9/11.

Also, Ms. Mattson spoke of how many Jewish leaders supported Muslims after 9/11 because they could relate to being the marginalized. Not all people of faith were supportive. Some saw the terrorist act as an opportunity to evangelize or condemn Muslims.

Interfaith engagement was an avenue for growth for the Muslim communiity after 9/11.

Ms. Mattson leads the Islamic Society of North America. She is the plenary speaker at the Religion Communication Congress 2010.

Another outcome of the attack was that Muslim leaders built consensus across diversity. She concluded her remarks with hope and optimism on new ways to build relationships. “When our plans are shifted, we should not mourn too long.”

Ms. Mattson quoted from the Koran, “You may hate something and it may be good for you.”

Greymoor Ecumenical

Published on by mbcoudal1 Comment

“I hope the zombies don’t get us,” Hayden said.

“I knew you should never have snuck into that stupid movie, Zombieland!” I told my almost-13 year old.

“Let’s go back to Kara’s,” he said.  Our friends lived down the road and had just moved to Garrison from the city. My daughters were staying with them. Hayden and I were spending one night at the Greymoor monastery.

I love monasteries. I love them in theory, but Hayden’s right, they can be spooky.  And a bit chilly. I don’t know why they’re cold. But even in October at Taize in the Southeast-ish of France, that monastery was so cold, perched as it was, way up on a hill. (Maybe that’s why monasteries are chilly, because they’re hilly!)

The day before, the friendly woman on the phone had instructed me on how to find our way into our room in the Greymoor Spiritual Life Center since we were arriving after hours. When I asked how much to pay, she said, “Whatever you want.”

We entered through the loading dock, up an elevator five stories, then walked another flight up to the sixth floor. The hallway was long and well-lit. It seemed we were the only people on the whole floor of one hundred identical cells. Er, rooms.

After the zombie conversation with Hayden, we went to sleep. Lately, I’ve been waking in the night, worried. But at the monastery, I slept well and felt prayed for, even though I woke in the night. I felt a little spooked, but also safe. I felt hidden.

Our room was college-dorm 1950’s chic. From one twin bed, you could put your feet on the other twin bed. We had a sink and a small closet. I felt I hit pay dirt when I found the extra 1950’ish blanket in the drawer.

In the morning, I asked an African woman in the long hallway for directions to the dining room. We found our way back down one flight. A different hallway this time. Full of light and art. Although it was a bit heavy on the crucifix art and the women weeping art. Still, lovely art.

Hayden wore my tee shirt that says, “Love ’em all. Let God sort out the rest.” I loved that my son joined me on this retreat. He didn’t balk about not having brought his XBox or a friend. He didn’t miss the luxuries of a hotel. 

We walked past the unoccupied Spelman library with a gorgeous view of the Hudson. We found the dining hall. Fifty empty tables. Only two occupied by a handful of grey-haired men. One monk wore the brown robe and white rope. Hayden stared. The gentlemen nodded at us or said, “Good morning.” I think the Franciscan brothers are known for their hospitality.

I had hoped they would be serving oatmeal. Yes! Thank God! Oatmeal and fresh fruit. Exactly as I’d hoped. Simple and healthy.

I don’t know why I love monasteries. Maybe because they are simple, art-filled, friendly, archiac, timeless. Maybe I like monasteries, too, because I like rules. St. Benedict’s rules had to do with humility, chastity, poverty, silence. (In college, I had to read St. Benedict’s Rules for some Midieval Literature class.)

I like having my #7 Rules for Living. They are a little easier for me than a monk’s vows.