First Aid from Movies

As a mother of three and sister of four, I’ve seen my share of bloody noses, broken bones, chicken pox, and far too many hematomas (this is one of my kids’ favorite words — I’m always saying, “Ah, that’s just a hematoma!” In fact H. said he might name his first child Hematoma. If it’s a boy.) Or else I tell my kids, “Ah, that bone is just bruised.” And I’m not sure that’s even a thing — a bruised bone. I should’ve asked our very fun and funny trainer, Andrea Arnold of what to do about a bruised bone.

More than laughs in my CPR and First Aid class today, I received the sage advice not to follow the medical advice from movies.

These were our crash test dummies in First Aid CPR class today.

Do not be like Mel Gibson in the Lethal Weapon movies and slam your dislocated shoulder back into place by running at a door. See a doctor.

You do not need to put a tampon up your noses if it gets bloody, even if Rocky Balboa did it. (And you don’t need to ice the bridge of the nose either which is what I always did.)

The frostbite in the new movie Everest is the really bad kind. Because it was not even a picture in our gory manual. (And it’s not the kind that is simply treated by warming.)

You’re lucky if you can pull an antanae out of your belly like Matt Damon did in the Martian. Only remove lodged items in that manner if you are alone and on Mars. Otherwise, call 9-1-1.

I’m sure there are more movie myths I overcame today, but I’m weary from learning.

I will leave you with a few more reminders:

  • Make sure your carbon dioxide alarms and smoke alarms are working. (Our are not!)
  • If you need help from a bystander, say specifically, “You in the yellow pants,” (or whatever — be specific about who is going to call help) “Call 911.” And tell them we have an unresponsive adult, child.” Or “Go get the AED.”

And as our trainer said, when class was over, “We hope you never have to use this. But if you do….”

Be prepared.


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