Public School Rules

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Although this blog is dedicated to My Seven Rules for Living, I do have two other non-negotiable rules for my kids:

1. No ball playing in the house.

2. No running with sticks.

You’d think the kids would have internalized these rules, but on a weekly basis I have to remind them not to bounce balls off the walls or whip them at their siblings.

Every school, every family, and every person lives by rules. Even if you have no rules, that’s a rule.

And so it is at the public school where my son plays basketball on Saturday mornings, the rule stands that the innocent ice cream cone is not allowed. She is not welcome. Poor little ice cream cone. She shows up at school ready to learn, wearing her back pack and her sunniest smile, but no, my little friend, you are not allowed.

We have to have rules.

She could come to my house, I could homeschool the little ice cream cone. But someone would eat her. And that would be the end.

The End.

Online Writing Class Part 2

So my teacher Julia Dahl suggested my story about the New York Times Travel Show might be right for Time Out New York Kids.

An earlier version of the story can be found at: http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/mbcoudal/3/1267469654/tpod.html (The Travel Show is Feb. 25th to 27th. I’m going back!)

So I called the magazine and immediately got a live person. I can’t tell you her name. Because, like Valerie Plame, I keep my sources secret.

One of my favorite lines is from the outed CIA agent, Valerie Plame, played by Naomi Watts in the movie Fair Game, who said, “You can’t break me. I have no breaking point.”

Back to my story — I talked very briefly to a lovely editor who accepted my submission, and then within an hour, sent me a wonderful rejection, which basically said, “This isn’t right for us, but feel free to pitch to me in the future.”

So, I feel great! I have a source. I have to continue to make connections, write a lot, learn a lot. I have to gain more insider info. I want to become the Wikileaks of online writing classes. At least for a few more weeks until my Boot Camp for Journalists class is over.

I do want to get some of my millions of essays published. And this boot camp is not going to break me. Because I have no breaking point. And who knows? It might make me.

I am nothing, if not optimistic.

Online Writing Class

I started an online writing class a few weeks ago through MediaBistro. I figured I ought to take an online writing class because eventually I will teach one.

It’s called Boot Camp for Journalists. Classes with boot camp in the title seem to be very popular. A Facebook friend just finished a Spiritual Direction Boot Camp (which seems like an oxymoron).

Like every new endeavor, I expected this Boot Camp to fulfill a lot of my needs — intellectual, emotional, social, and my love of newness. (I am in love with New Things! New Classes! New Ideas! http://gettingmyessayspublished.wordpress.com/2011/01/28/the-tyranny-of-new/) And most importantly, this class, I thought, will help me get my essays published. But this Boot Camp is tough. I am behind on two assignments. I have a lot to learn.

Last week, we learned about pitching.

Our teacher, Julia Dahl, told us when pitching a story to a magazine be sure to address our e-mail to a real person. This is so smart. Yet magazines’ mastheads offer a generic email address for submissions, like fiction@newyorker.com What’s a writer to do?

I don’t want to give away all my juicy insider info, but okay, you broke me, the answer is call the magazine and get a real person’s name. I decided to try this yesterday.

Sorry, I’ll have to tell you how my pitch went tomorrow. Because I’ve got to run, get one of my darlings out of the tub, clean the kitchen, and start on tonite’s assignment before class starts at 9 pm (EST). Yes, in 45 minutes.

Cross Country Skiing and Listening

When I started out cross country skiing today, I was totally listening to the world from a level 1. “I can’t do this. I’m cold.”   

In my workplace Leadership Academy, I learned there are three levels of listening:

  1. Listening to yourself  (at times, self consciously)
  2. Listening  to one other person (intently)
  3. Listening  to the room (the vibe)

After about 20 minutes of skiing, I found my rhythm. I may not have been elegant, but I was competent. And I could see the trees and the snow and the mountains.

After looking around, I began listening around. I was at level 3 — the greater room, the bigger world. Nature was my room, and the vibe was quiet.

There is a time when doing outdoor sports — or maybe any sports — when it is no longer possible to remain self-centered. Okay, yes, I can run with headphones on and stay in my head. But, at some point, I will be aware of a larger world around me. If I take the buds out of my ears, I can hear the sound of my feet hitting the sidewalk, a bird calling, or a dog barking.

Out in the snow today, the sounds were muffled and quiet. Occasionally a tree creaked as if in pain. There was nothing really much in the world to hear. Yet I was alive to the sounds and to the day. I forgot I was cold. I transcended myself.

the opposite of cyberstalking

Sometimes I worry that by writing so personally, I am opening myself up to cyberstalkers. It’s pretty easy to Google someone’s name and get all of their personal info. But why would anyone bother?

With the scourge of short attention spans, the cyberstalker might have the inclination to stalk me, but then follow through? Meh! 

I know when I’m half-way through typing in an old high school boyfriend’s name on Facebook, I find myself distracted. I’m looking up what my coworkers are making for dinner instead of checking up on Bob Stumpf. “I wonder what ever happened to Bob Stumpf? Oh, look, Julie’s making chili!”

I have Googled my ex and his name is very common — something like John Smith or Jim Brown. Okay, you got me, it’s Jim Brown. But after a page of Google links to the running back and then to the singer, I’m off on a tangent reading about the history of rhythmn and blues.

I did write about this in an earlier post. Are our short attention spans doing anything good for our souls?  http://gettingmyessayspublished.wordpress.com/2010/12/02/does-social-media-grow-your-soul/

What’s the opposite of cyberstalking? Cyberapathy! That’s the new trend in social media.

Why I Am Happy

This morning, like every morning, I awoke before the family. I sipped my coffee, scrawled in my journal, glanced at my smart phone, and scanned The Times’s headlines. I felt connected and happy.

I wondered, Why am I happy? I ask myself why I’m unhappy, because that needs fixing. But my happiness usually goes unquestioned.

I figured, My happiness is from my relationships. I have good relationships.

My weekends are usually an accumulation of pleasing others (the kids). Yesterday, there was enough in the day that pleased me too. I watched my son’s basketball game, sitting on the gym floor chatting with an old friend and making a new friend.

I went to Chelsea Piers for one of my daughter’s camp reunions. I ice skated and chatted with the Treetops Camp family. In the evening, I attended my friend’s art show and chatted with artists about deep things. (I see that in the day I chatted with a lot of other adults. Happy!)

Then I came home from the art event and watched Mike Leigh’s ‘Happy-Go-Lucky.’ (Usually the kids monopolize the television. But I had prepared them: “I’m going to watch a movie tonite.”) The film’s heroine is a happy, giggly, silly teacher who tries flamenco dancing, trampolining and learning to drive. (Sally Hawkins = brilliant.)

The day also was happy because not only was there a lot of chatting. But I had pockets of Me Time in it too. I walked in the rain to the St. Agnes library. For five minutes, I sat in a cozy chair and read a weekly news magazine. And the library is where I borrowed the movie, ‘Happy-Go-Lucky.’ New York Public libraries so rock.

My #1 rule is Pile on the People. And it’s working out.

I joined a Facebook group of bloggers who post every day, because at times I need a push to write these daily blog posts. I was reading one post http://peterweis.com/inspiration/what-should-you-really-be-doing/ because the title intrigued me. (It prompted this post.)

I think I am doing what I should be doing. Making others happy in a way that makes me happy too. Happy.  And happy-go-lucky.

Posting Every Day

I post every day. Okay, every night. I plan to do it for 66 days because that’s how many days it takes to make a habit. I’m up to 33 days. Half-way there!

I love it. I love mulling over what to write. I jot down ideas on the back of envelopes in my purse. Then, later, can’t decipher my handwriting. It’s big and scrawly. Other times, I know exactly what I wrote. Like I saw the phrase —  “glory = Riversd Park = walkin home as lmpsts light.” I’ll post that one in My Beautiful New York.

I like the feeling of scooping a story. I believe I was one of the first people to post about the new astrological sign (thanks to my friends at Happy Hour!). I did expect my readership to soar the night I posted that little piece of brilliance. http://mybeautifulnewyork.wordpress.com/2011/01/13/the-zodiac/

There might have been a slight bump in readers. I don’t obsess over my stats. I am just glad that I have readers. (THANKS!) And I’m doing it partly for myself — to figure out what it is I’m thinking.

And I don’t have to go on long in these blog posts. Once I hit 100 words, I figure I’m nearly done!

I want to conclude with a picture of where I was when I started writing this post — a new cafe on 120th and Broadway at Columbia University. How charming is this! I am in love. I am in love with New York City. This spot had been a construction site for years. Now it’s a lovely place to hang out and write in the early morning.

Go figure. Life is surprising. And so are the things you discover every day.

The Mayor’s Meeting Clock

I am a fan of productivity. Mayor Bloomberg is too. He’s installed big clocks in his open-air office at City Hall. The digital clock starts when the meeting begins. Like a cabby’s meter, the Mayor’s clock is running. It’s called a count-up (not count-down) clock. Time is money.

I am a fan of brevity and short meetings. I am the one in every meeting who will volunteer to pass out the papers. I can’t sit still for longer than an hour. (This week I was in a 4-hour meeting!)

Maybe we should consider the Mayor’s time clock. It’s worked so well for him that he’s installing them in a bunch of conference rooms in City Hall.

The Mayor too is a fan of the stand up meeting. So am I! Not only do I like chatting with my colleagues while leaning on their door frames, I like meeting coworkers in the elevator while traveling to the first floor — exceedingly productive! I LOVE the walking-down-the-hallway-together meeting.

When I am in a walk and talk meeting, I feel like I have an exciting career or am in a TV show, like ER or West Wing. I think good ideas come while you’re walking together — Not so much while you’re sitting across the table from someone.

Lately at lengthy meetings people bring their laptops and you can’t tell if they’re playing Solitaire, IM’ing their friend across the table, or actually taking notes. And what about the people who phone in to meetings? I always wonder What are they doing? Is it possible they’re still in their pajamas? (Damn those lucky telecommuters!)

I learned about the Mayor’s meeting timer from my friend who sent me the link via Facebook. (But, no, I was not checking FB during the 4-hour meeting!) Here was the article:

Pile on the Book Groups

My first book group is reading Guterson’s “The Other.” My mother/daughter book group is reading Smith’s “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.” My office book group is reading Zusak’s “The Book Thief.”

My #1 Rule is Pile on the People and my #2 is Escape through Literature. But I may be outdoing myself. 

On a night like tonite, when I’ve finally finished my writing, the dishes, and homework patrol, I don’t know which book to open. Rather than choosing any one, I let all of them languish. It’s not just the books, but my classmates’ “Bootcamp for Journalists” writing assignments. And on the Kindle, I’m in the middle of Miller’s “Blue Like Jazz” and Brown’s “The Lost Symbol.”

I lump them all and dive into a long article in The Atlantic or The New York Times magazine.

Why do I place so many reading demands on myself? I like drowning in literature.

And maybe one of my rules could serve as an antidote to my habit (compulsion?) to pile on too many book groups and too many books: Rule #5 “Expect the Best/Love What You Get.”

Writing about social media

I have spent my entire evening writing a prayer service on technology for a daylong retreat.

I want to go to bed AND I want to keep up my daily post. So I’ll cheat (repurpose) and include here a bit from my retreat booklet.

I want the retreat goer to ask, What does social media do to your soul? (This may or may not make it into the final chapter.)

Assignment: take 15 minutes to quietly reflect on how we give or receive words of love through social media. Write in your journals these three writing prompts.

I was cursed by technology when ….

Then I was blessed by technology when…

Now I know I can write words of love through cyberspace by…

To toot my own horn here (without blowing it), I was pleased with the nice response to my creative writing prompts on this blog last month. http://gettingmyessayspublished.wordpress.com/2011/01/18/creative-writing-prompts/ Thanks to Dawn Herring, @JournalChat and #journalchat for choosing that post as the post of the week.