Why I Am Happy

This morning, like every morning, I awoke before the family. I sipped my coffee, scrawled in my journal, glanced at my smart phone, and scanned The Times’s headlines. I felt connected and happy.

I wondered, Why am I happy? I ask myself why I’m unhappy, because that needs fixing. But my happiness usually goes unquestioned.

I figured, My happiness is from my relationships. I have good relationships.

My weekends are usually an accumulation of pleasing others (the kids). Yesterday, there was enough in the day that pleased me too. I watched my son’s basketball game, sitting on the gym floor chatting with an old friend and making a new friend.

I went to Chelsea Piers for one of my daughter’s camp reunions. I ice skated and chatted with the Treetops Camp family. In the evening, I attended my friend’s art show and chatted with artists about deep things. (I see that in the day I chatted with a lot of other adults. Happy!)

Then I came home from the art event and watched Mike Leigh’s ‘Happy-Go-Lucky.’ (Usually the kids monopolize the television. But I had prepared them: “I’m going to watch a movie tonite.”) The film’s heroine is a happy, giggly, silly teacher who tries flamenco dancing, trampolining and learning to drive. (Sally Hawkins = brilliant.)

The day also was happy because not only was there a lot of chatting. But I had pockets of Me Time in it too. I walked in the rain to the St. Agnes library. For five minutes, I sat in a cozy chair and read a weekly news magazine. And the library is where I borrowed the movie, ‘Happy-Go-Lucky.’ New York Public libraries so rock.

My #1 rule is Pile on the People. And it’s working out.

I joined a Facebook group of bloggers who post every day, because at times I need a push to write these daily blog posts. I was reading one post http://peterweis.com/inspiration/what-should-you-really-be-doing/ because the title intrigued me. (It prompted this post.)

I think I am doing what I should be doing. Making others happy in a way that makes me happy too. Happy.  And happy-go-lucky.

#1 Pile on People

# 1 Pile on People (P.O.P.)

There is no problem that can’t be bettered by adding a lot more people to it.

If two parents are good, then three are even better still. Four or five? Excellent! After all, it does take a village to raise a child. Or fight a war. George Bush employed this concept — he called it a surge.

In my life, I have employed surge. Especially in the last few years I have piled on the people by employing housekeepers and babysitters. And it’s really worked well. (Heck, half of my facebook friends are the kids’ babysitters.)

One note: it does cost you. So, be prepared to DTE (damn the expense!) when piling the money on when you pile the people on! Or barter! Or get family members on board.

I was just chatting with Josie, former babysitter, the other night. I was dissing marriage to her. Saying Let’s face it, married couple love is way overrated. That relationship is so fetishized by, oh, I don’t know, diamond companies, candymakers, Valentine’s revelers, Catholic priests. If we are going to celebrate love, let’s expand our concept of love a wee bit.

Let’s celebrate a love of a single mother for her kids, a sister for her brother, two dear old friends, a son for his dad, an aunt for her nephew, a student for his teacher, a pastor for her flock. I dunno. I’m just sick of all the brouhaha over marriage.

My point is — it’s wrong to send love like a garden hose in just one direction. That won’t water the garden. Hook it up to a sprinkler and let love be more like a fountain — spraying in many directions and watering a wider land.

I’m digressing and I do want to tweak my P.O.P. concept.

Make it P.O.U.P. — Pile on Useful People. Because just a pile of people gets unwieldy. And given that I’m a real people pleaser, when you have to please unwieldy people, it’s a real drag. So try to see that the people in your life add, not take away.