Tag: embrace uncertainty

3 Simple Rules

Published on by mbcoudal3 Comments

When I used to do stand up, I would tell myself 3 things right before I went on stage:

1. Be yourself

2. Have fun

3. It’s important

And I am trying to tell myself these same 3 rules at the start of every day.

I did not sleep well last night. One of the darlings came into bed with me at around 2. She’s nearly as big as an adult so she woke me. We have no air conditioning. It was  hot. I tossed and turned. Then I  moved to my daughter’s now-empty bed. I’d heard an antidote to insomnia is changing rooms.

As I walked in the hall, I heard the television was still on. My husband stays up way too late into the night, sometimes until 3 or 4. Then of course he falls asleep in the early evening hours when you’re talking to him (blame the Parkinson’s). Hearing the television just made me feel all sad and jumbled — my life, my restless night, my work. And I couldn’t wait until morning so I could dump all my thoughts, worries, dreams, into my journal.

1. Be yourself. Because there is a unique point of view based on a unique life’s journey. And for whatever reason, this is my journey. This is mine.

2. Have fun. Because I seriously believe that we are put on this earth to give and experience joy. The goal in life is to be happy, joyous, and free.

3. It’s important. Because I can easily dismiss my point of view, or expect that I am less than. But what I have to say is important.

I did fall asleep in my daughter’s bed and woke to write all this in my journal.

Sidewalk Art

Published on by mbcoudal1 Comment

image

Enough with the sidewalk art!

H. and I had just come from the New Museum where we saw George Condo’s Mental States and met the great man. http://mybeautifulnewyork.wordpress.com/2011/05/08/george-condo/

On the way into the park, we stepped on De La Vega’s sidewalk art.

A man with a feather in his cap sat near the first chalk drawing, around 97th and Central Park East. H. wondered if that was the artist, Jamie De La Vega. But not all artists hang near their art. Like all bloggers do not hang near their blog.

One message on the sidewalk did not have the silly helicopter or fish image — simply words across the pavement with a message, “It will continue to get better.” That made me happy.

Chalk artists have to know the forecast.

Minutes after we arrived at H’s Little League game, a dark cloud hovered, opened up, and sent me running to the field house.

My first thought was I should not have spent that $25 to get my hair blown out. And my second thought was all that sidewalk art  probably did not survive the downpour.

Art is ephemeral. Like the bubbles in George Condo’s paintings.

Life too is fleeting. This applies to My Rules Number 6 and 7.

6. Live every day as if it were your last

7. Embrace uncertainty

And yes, it will continue to get better. But there will be rain.

My 7 Rules

Published on by mbcoudal3 Comments

Every six months or so, I think I should repeat My 7 Rules.

  1. Pile on the people. Or — pile on the useful people. This is hard. And you may need to pay real money here.
  2. Escape through literature. Proof in point — I am writing this on a plane going to San Francisco on route to Napa Valley with my book club. Literature leads to good things. We were talking about this at a recent book club meeting when we were talking about, “A Short History of Women: a Novel” by Kate Walbert. (Good and substantive.) The historical and present-day women in that book, like the suffragette, were definitely leading lives of quiet desperation. “Why don’t they join a book club?” asked one of the book club members. People in book clubs think other people should join book clubs. People who read think everyone should read. (Incidentally, our book for this California meeting is, “A Tale of Two Valleys: Wine, Wealth, and the Battle for the Good Life in Napa and Sonoma” by Alan Deutschman. (Kind of fun and trashy.))
  3.  Hold on to your hoops of steel. This is my rule based on a Shakespeare quote. And I throw it in so I appear literary. And though I can’t, at this moment, even remember what play this quote’s from, it means keep the ones you love close. My work and my family – these are my hoops of steel.
  4. Cultivate a secret garden. Can’t say much about this. But if you plant, grow, weed a secret garden, keep it close to the vest, like your cards at a poker game. Don’t ask; Don’t tell. So now that I’ve thrown you a bunch of mixed metaphors, like seeds to the wind, I hope you follow the trail to your own secret garden.
  5. Expect the best/love what you get. This works well when training animals, rearing children, and getting along with annoying coworkers.
  6. Live every day as if it were your last. This is the Carpe Diem rule. And one day, it will be your last day, so you might as well live fully today. As mom always said, “They can’t repossess your vacation.” True words to contemplate while on a plane bound for a vacation.
  7. Embrace uncertainty. I had a friend who would smile whenever she said, “I don’t know.” I try to do that too. It’s difficult for me. I like knowing everything. I like being a know-it-all.

Those are my 7 Rules.