I am working on a very short novel. I am working on my business. I am working on myself. I wonder if any of these things will work out.
I believe that I already have everything I need. I try to know, deep down, that all I want will come to pass. Yesterday I announced that I’m going to lead workshops for the International Women’s Writing Guild summer conference and in May I’ll be performing on Mother’s Day with the Listen To Your Mother Show. These are dreams that have come true for me.
Still, sometimes I think it’d be a heckova lot easier to just get a job and show up every day. And do what’s asked of you and then go home.
Sometimes believing in myself is a lot of work.
Speaking of work, I have a freelance assignment due tomorrow. A small part of me does not want to do it. Okay, a big part.
I like doing what I like doing, promoting my own workshops. (Come to the Adirondacks for a writing and collage art getaway! May 16-19) and my new biz (Am getting my new website up and running.)
I like my own stuff. But once I throw myself into something, even someone else’s something, I get into it. The problem is the throwing myself in. It’s like when you’re standing on the edge of the pool, hesitant to swim. You just have to jump.
About freelancing, here’s my truth — I love accepting a job; I love interviewing people; I like collecting the check. All the middle part, after the interview and before the job’s complete, all the writing and rewriting and fact checking, that’s a pain.
Related articles
- Designing a Freelance Life Part 1: The Brief (designthinking.ideo.com)
- To work or not to work? (chappytwife.com)
100 Days of Poems and Pics 
What was it Dorothy Parker said? “I hate writing. I love having written.” True for so many of us!
Yes, it’s really just about shutting down Facebook for me. I can do anything once I turn off Facebook.. and Twitter… and Insta….
We have a lot in common, because I’m constantly writing, writing, writing, working on myself, being a mom and a wife, and working career-wise. I have said the same thing to myself and my husband (who is very passionate about playing guitar) so many times: Would it be better if were simply satisfied with our jobs and coming home and BEING?” But it’s just not who we are. So keep on keepin’ on, girl!! (That sounded SO dorky, but it’s how I feel! 🙂 )
Lady, you have one hilarious blog! Thanks for reading mine… Yes, screw it. I’m just gonna be happy that I’m writing, freelancing and making no money. I’m making a ton of memories. That’s what it’s all about. And you too! Keep it keepin’ on!
I just tried to leave a reply and it got deleted, I think. 😦
Anyway, thank you for your post. My biggest struggle is accepting that what I really do is the process that gets me to the end goal. In other words, to be a writer I have to not only write but have the desire and often times angst about something to have a subject to write about. That means that I’m going to go through stuff I don’t want to. Throughout that, it’s hard not to question what I’m doing and where I’m headed. I often think, “am I making this too difficult? Shouldn’t I be happier?” Then I realize the “happy” I’m thinking about when I ask that question is a sort of mindless numbing feeling that I’ve walked away from by being my own boss and not operating in a set structure.
Thanks for reminding me that I’m not crazy!
Oh Whitney, I so get this. I think yes, maybe I’m not searching for happiness, I’m searching for meaning. And although I may not be rich financially, I am rich in other ways. Ways that are even more meaningful. Love your blog, by the way!