My number one rule is pile on people. I like to pile on activities as well as people. It is my way of coping. I like to say yes to every invitation and expand on every good idea offered — lessons I learned from performing improv.

Families are like fine art mobiles — when one member swings one way, the others move another — compensating, balancing, attempting to maintain equilibrium. With Chris’s increased slowness, I take on more. Like the arm on a mobile, I swing faster. I fly one way, while other pieces bounced along. Life swings every one. With Chris away with siblings in the Adirondacks this weekend, I did more. And I liked it.

When he’s gone, I depend more on friends.

Here was my Sunday. I got up early.

• journaled
• blogged
• cabbed to pick up Charlotte from a sleep over
• brunched at friends’ — lovely — bagels, lox, whitefish
• dropped Hayden at church
• napped for 20 minutes
• got the car
• picked up H. from church
• dropped one child off at Randall’s Island, Icahn Stadium
• drove to Cold Spring to get Kate from her sleep over
• walked around with friends and K. in Cold Spring
• watched the people fishing
• chatted, picnicked by the harbor with friends
• ate yogurt at a yummy yogurt place
• picked up K.’s things from Garrison
• drove K. and myself back to Randall’s Island
• cheered H. and his team at track and field events
• drove friends and kids back to city
• parked the car at a lot
• made dinner — chicken, rice, broccoli, strawberries
• helped H. pack for 5-day bike trip
• cleaned
• sent myself and the kids to bed at 10:30

In a family, there are tons of ways to cope when a spouse is out of town, sick, or just unable to deliver the goods. People tell me, “You do too much.” Yet I would rather pile on people, activities, work, exercise, kindness than pile on resentment, solitude, inertia.

I’m sure there’s a lesson in how to balance your life based on the image of  a Calder-type mobile. Balance is not part of my vocabulary.

Enthusiasm, passion, friendship, too many activities? That’s the way! Pile it on.