Tag: Twitter

A Message from Judy Blume

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There was a message on Twitter from Judy Blume to me. My breath caught in my throat.

I had been walking on Broadway for 30 minutes, heading to work yesterday morning. I stopped to check my phone. I was super excited to read what she, one of my heroes and the author of Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret, wrote to me.

See, on Monday I’d written to Ms. Blume:

@judyblume we have a mother daughter bookclub in #nyc Could you stop by #uws Sun, June 4? we are reading #Deenie THANKS SO MUCH!

Ms. Blume’s message said, “– love mother/daughter book clubs but won’t be NY then. Say hi to readers for me. Parental expectations-should be interesting.”

So I emailed the “Hi!”  from the great author to the mothers and daughters in our book group. And now I pass on Ms. Blume’s hello to you, blog readers. And rest assured, we will discuss parental expectations — and much more — at our next book group!!!

Happy Reading, everyone! (Here’s my post from our first mother/daughter book club http://gettingmyessayspublished.wordpress.com/2011/03/29/mother-daughter-book-club/. )

When Kids Are Mean to Mom

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My preteens have mood swings that take them from an attitude of a toddler to an adult in a flash. Take tonite. 

C. storms into our small NYC kitchen where her father and I are already tripping over each other fixing dinner.

“I’m starving.”

“Good, I’m making arroz con pollo, your fave.”

“I hate it. I am starving. I haven’t eaten anything.”

“Have a strawberry. Have yogurt. Dinner’ll be ready in half an hour.”

“I hate it. I’m starving.”

“Hey,” I said. “I don’t like anyone being mean to anyone else. Including you to me. I told you we’re fixing dinner.” I could feel my patience beginning to snap. I walked away. I didn’t want to yell. I took some deep breaths. She stormed ahead of me, into her bedroom and began to slam the door. I caught the door before it slammed and closed it gently.

Then, okay, yes, I gave the middle finger to the closed bedroom door. (I know, I know, I’m immature too!)

I grabbed my phone. I tweeted my friends, “I’m the nicest person in the world. Why is my daughter mean to me?” I got nice feedback. Like @katejenian “@MaryBethC You are there for your children to be mean to, as you will forgive them, and they know it. They also get over it (I did). :)” and @MegP4 said, “@MaryBethC Oh, can I soooo relate to this. Sorry.” And nycdavidwebb said, “you are indeed a nice person.”

I felt better. Venting to cyber friends cooled off my hot, mad attitude towards my little ingrate.

I heard C. singing in the kitchen. I peeked around. I watched her climb on a chair and nuke herself some old tacos smothered in cheese and black beans. She was making herself some nachos. She was singing, silly, happy. I couldn’t stay mad.

I let it go.

This preteen age is tricky. They have mood swings. They want what they want. And they yell and disrespect people, even me, their mother! Yet they still need me, want me, and cuddle me. It is an age of letting the door slam gently (and then, giving the closed door the finger!) 

I can’t remember, but it’s highly probable I had mood swings too.

Daily Blog

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For about 66 days I posted on one of my four blogs every single day. I started January 1, 2011.

I may keep up the daily habit or begin to post weekly.

Here’s how I did it:

1) Connected with a community of writers (Twitter, Facebook, 43Things, MediaBistro) 2) Gave myself permission to write only 100 words 3) Wrote early in the morning, late at night (and occasionally on my lunch hour) 4) Told myself ‘It will only take you 20 minutes’ 5) Showed my vulnerabilty 6) Showed my awesomeness.

For extra credit: 

1) Included photos 2) Told a story with a beginning, middle and end 3) Promoted books and philosophies I believe in 4) Piggybacked on other bloggers’ good ideas 5) Commented on others’ blog posts.

What I learned:

1) That writing improves your self esteem 2) That there is always something to write about 3) That I began to organize my life and thoughts around the four different blog areas — fitness, writing, spirituality and New York 4) That how-to posts and completely honest posts were the most popular 5) That my writing, especially the first couple of paragraphs, have to be simple and not witty (Humor comes later. Explaining the point of what I’m writing comes first.)

Twitter versus Facebook

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Lately, I’ve received Twitter messages that say, “Follow me on Facebook too!” I thought Twitter and Facebook were two different worlds.

I thought Facebook was for people you had met in high school or real life; and Twitter was for people you wished you’d met in high school or real life. My Twitter friends are writer-types with names like SmartBitches, AmyLow, GottaLaff and HippieChick (I wish I’d thought up a clever name. I’m simply MaryBethC). My Facebook friends are also sassy-types, only they use their real names.

After being on the Twitter-verse when I log on to Facebook, the Facebook world feels slow and earnest. It feels like cross country skiing after downhill racing. 

Sometimes I like the random roll of the dice of Twitter. And sometimes I like the mashed-up friendliness of Facebook.

After I’ve been on Facebook a while, when I get on Twitter, I wonder Who ARE these people? Do I know them? But I can’t stop reading their updates.

I’d like to write more about this right now, but I’ve gotta check my Facebook and Twitter accounts. I’ve got to see what my friends — real and cyber — are up to.

On Facebook, Megachurches, and Brevity

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Episcopal priest and social media expert, Tom Ehrich, began his talk on social media with a bunch of paper handouts — extremely gloomy charts showing the steady and certain downward march in Episcopal church attendance.

“The world of the 1950s ended a long time ago but churches hung onto it. We are the corner hardware store in a Home Depot world,” Ehrich said. People laughed uncomfortably.

For the record, I still love corner hardware stores. I like to say “Gene Doubray” (dzień dobry) to the Polish guys who own the hardware store on 72nd Street. I have never been in a Home Depot. But I like their commercials that show older women as experts. I digress, back to last week’s luncheon. Here are my takeaways:

Facebook

How does Facebook work? “No one knows.” (Someone must know!) “Facebook is a mystery. Facebook tells your friends ‘Here’s what I’m caring about today.'”

Update your church’s Facebook frequently and recruit people to attend your church. Inviting doesn’t work; recruiting does (recruting always sounds militaristic to me).

Give people what they want. When people come to a church they may have questions. But the questions they have will be ones about their own lives — “Should I send my kid to private or public school?” they ask. They don’t ask, “What is your Sunday school like?” Ehrich said. True, true.

Create buzz. Let churches “touch people,” not “create members.” True.

Why do restaurants in New York not have to advertise? Restaurants get business by generating buzz, Ehrich said.

Megachurches

Getting people to attend Sunday worship is not enough. Churches have to be open 7 days/24 hours a day.

“Sunday is for tourists,” Ehrich said. He gave an example that Rick Warren’s megachurch, Saddleback Church, has its real worship on Wednesday nights, not Sundays.

“The Megachurch is not the enemy. They have methods that work. They greet newcomers. Train leaders.” Warren’s goal was to start 2,000 new small groups in a year; that is, 20,000 new members.

Megachurch Willow Creek sends an email newsletter that reaches 3 million readers. (I’m not sold on e-newsletters.) In his weekly Willow Creek e-newsletter, Bill Hybels, the founder, has passion and enthusiasm for upcoming sermon.

In his e-newsletters, Hybels writes, “Please come. If you can’t come, please pray for me.” That is cool. (How often do grown men asked to be prayed for? Love it!)

Full disclosure: for several months as a teenager in Park Ridge, Illinois, I was a part of Son City, which Bill Hybels founded. It was really fun. I don’t remember him specifically, but I remember that I sang rockin’ Christian songs in a big auditorium. I’m not a singer, but I remember thinking I sounded really good. I loved the idea of Son City, especially when I heard rumors that kids were allowed to run around and have chicken-fights in the church aisles of the South Park Church. I digress.

Digression on blogs may be unnecessary.

Brevity

Ehrich was a proponent of brevity. On Twitter: “140-character limit is magic,” Ehrich said.

Ehrich blogs daily. I love that. His word limit is 100 words. My blog posts tend to exceed that. (This one’s up to 560!). A blog doesn’t need to be friendly but can establish you as an expert. (I wonder if my blog(s) are making me an expert at anything.)

Another takeaway: Social media is a good tool for networking but not for controling. And these luncheons are definitely good for networking and sparking lively conversations about religion and media.

Ehrich’s blog and web pages can be found at: http://www.morningwalkmedia.com

The November RCC (Religion Commnicators Council) luncheon was held near the United Nations at the Episcopal building on 43rd and 2nd. The RCC luncheons and events are always provocative.

Running Update

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This morning on Twitter, I posted, “Just ran 1.5 miles in 19 mins. Beat that. 😉 #mamavation I am in the#slowlane” And I received several re-tweets and “That’s great!” and “I’m slow too!” comments.

So there! When you admit you’re slow, you’re suddenly popular. Ha! And you always thought the fast girls were the beloved ones!

I haven’t been running much since a few weeks ago I developed some kind of heel spur or heel plantar fasiitis problem. (I’d like to go on and on about it right now, but I know that griping about minor injuries is really annoying so just suffice it to say, I’ve become lazy or  I’m babying myself.)

I have been going to Pilates/Yoga at lunchtime at work and playing an occasional tennis game.

Haven’t been riding my bike to work lately either. I did write in here about how the pedal fell off, didn’t I? See, my bike fell in love with this other bike in the basement (the Gary Fisher bizatch). And she didn’t love him back and somehow my bike just doesn’t feel like going out for a ride any more. He’s buried behind a bunch of other more popular bikes in the bike room collecting dust. I guess my bike has to just go slow, admit it on Twitter, and then he’ll become popular again.

This morning, I felt great after running (except for my heel!). I didn’t run far or fast, but I definitely got to the endorphin-kicking-in phase. I think the endorphins release at exactly the same moment the back of my neck gets sweaty. That is when I tell myself, “Okay, you’ve gone far enough. You can stop now.”

My advice? Go only so far as to break a sweat and then stop at Europan cafe. Carry the spoils home from the battle — the bacon/egg/cheese sandwiches and bagels for the kids. Add your coffee. Sunday morning. Life is good.

An Homage to Breastfeeding

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Let’s say you’re like me – someone who looks for joy.

I cannot let August slip away without mentioning the joy I felt breastfeeding. This is National Breastfeeding Month, as I am occasionally reminded by some mother I follow on Twitter.

Breastfeeding not only feels awesomely good for the mother, because you’re so close to such a warm, loving body, but the bliss on the baby’s face – that Milk Dud look – means that the little one is enjoying the bonding too. Physically we are just wired to love the feeling.

I am not a fanatic. I nursed my boy for seven month and my twin girls for a year. (We were moving a lot that year, from NYC to the Adirondacks to San Francisco back to NYC and I wanted to give the girls something they could count on – a warm breast! Plus, it was much easier to pack my boobs than a bunch of bottles!)

I encourage every pregnant woman who is considering breastfeeding to please, please, please, do it. You won’t regret it.

Yes, it might be hard at first for a newborn to figure out the latching on reflex.

So, I relied on professionals to validate me. When I had just given birth and was still at the hospital those first couple of days, every time a nurse walked by, I would call out, “Hey, am I doing this right?” I would nod at the little guy at my breast.

“Yes,” she’d usually say. But if she said, “No, it looks like he’s fallen asleep,” then I’d learn how to break the hold and latch him on again. Having another woman affirm my ability made me feel confident.

I also want to say that I think the whole nipple confusion worry is overblown. Every day I nursed the girls and not only did they get mother’s milk, but they also got at least one bottle of formula. They never refused nipple or bottle. They were just happy to be fed.

I hated pumping. I felt very, very embarrassed from the first time I ever tried it and never got the hang of it. I did not want anyone to see me doing it. (Although I could care less if anyone saw me breastfeeding.) I  felt like a cow hooked up to an automatic milking device. I wanted my little warm calf snuggled up to me, not a plastic funnel sucking up to me.

Breastfeeding so rocks. It is so good. It is so nice. I loved it. And I miss it. At the time and now ten years later, I’m so glad I did it.

Yes, this blog is about usually about fitness and running, but it’s also about health. By running, I am searching for a natural high. In breastfeeding, I found it. (Oxytocin is the feel-good hormone of breastfeeding.)

Staying in Bed

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One Sunday afternoon, the kids and I went to see our bff and babysitter, Josie, at her art show at Cooper Union. It was a multi-media art piece about her summer visiting the national parks. Awesome.

After Josie’s show, we wandered into a sparsely-attended lecture in the auditorium. It was all about the lessons of the sloth. (I think the organizers followed the sloth’s example and didn’t exert themselves by promoting this awesome, free event.) I learned that as Americans (New Yorkers?), we are over-worked and could learn a lot from the sloth.

This morning, I was on vacation. I lay in bed wondering whether to go for a run or work on my novel. I contemplated my choices. I clicked on my phone to check in with the Twitterverse.

Two links appeared on my Twitter feed. One link sent me to a website dedicated to mothers who aim low http://aiminglow.com/ (follow Amy Lo on Twitter), a comic reaction to the perfectionism thrust on modern-day mothers, and the other link connected me to an article in the United Methodist Reporter on The Wisdom of Stability: Rooting Faith in a Mobile Culture (interview with Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove by Robin Russell), all about staying put in a society that is perpetually on the go, http://www.umportal.org/article.asp?id=6959

The universe (Twitterverse) was telling me something.

I scanned the website and the article. (Nobody reads, we just scan.) It all made perfect sense. Why am I trying so hard? Why be an overachiever? Give it up! I hung out with my kids, laying (lying?) in the green grass and then laying (lying? whatevs!) at the beach. I was reading my book, hanging out.

And it was good enough. I’m a good enough mother (wife, friend, sister, what-have-you.)

Good enough. I’m staying put… I’m staying in bed.

Two Classes I Can Teach

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These are two classes I can teach. I wrote the course descriptions for the Chautauqua Insitution’s Summer Program. but they did not bite. It’s probably just as well since the classrooms do not have internet access and for the first class, you really need access.

So, then I emailed the course descriptions to the wonderful Ecumenical Institute  of Bossey in Geneva, Switzerland. I showed it to my friend, Drew (Giddings), too. He said lots of churches would benefit from the first class idea. Of course, I think lots of people would benefit from the second one too. And odds are that that class would be kind of funny.

1. Beyond Google and Email

 Are you Linked In? Do you blog? Tweet? Tag?  If these terms are foreign to you, it’s time to find out about the internet and social networking. Learn the lingo. Like millions of people, you too can use the internet as a creative, democratic and social force to bring people of faith together. Learn to use Twitter, Facebook, and all the new global communications tools.

2. Writing the Comic Essay

Write about your life – from childhood through the present day – the small, quiet moments and the large, public events. With comic insights about your life’s spiritual journey, you will discover a thread of levity and deep meaning. This is a supportive and fun class, intended for the experienced, casual and non-writer. In this class, you will remember and record a humorous experience from childhood. You will transform a recent angry incident into a humorous one. You will write an essay of publishable quality.