Archives for the month of: December, 2009

Running in Akumal

I tried to run. I did. I made it about five minutes. I couldn’t go longer because of the humid air and the fact that I forgot to pack my sports bra. Also, I was running with college athlete, nephew Chris and my Middle School cross country competitor, son Hayden.

The two of them flew ahead towards Half Moon. And there was Catherine behind me barefoot, running, tagging along. I want her to be physical. I remembered some South African Olympian who ran barefoot so I didn’t exclude her based on no shoes.

Of course, I kept turning around to check on her. Just as Hayden in front of me, kept turning around to check on me.

I had an epiphany then. Maybe I somehow – unconsciously – encourage my kids to tag along because I want them to hold me back. It’s possible that I use my kids as an excuse for not running faster, farther, reaching some potential.

And if I do that, it’s okay. I am surely not alone. And maybe that’s it too. I like being not alone. And I let my responsibility (over-responsibility?) to others hold me back.

I like lists.
Here are my goals for the next 30 days. from 12/24 to 1/24/10
- 5 work outs/runs/yoga classes
- 30 blogs
- 10 lunches with friends
- 15 minutes a day on novel
- 15 photos posted
- 5 support group/meetings
- 15 minutes a day on apartment organization

Hopped over snow and ice in Riverside Park. Sun’s so bright when it’s cold.

Very little wildlife to remark on. Canadian geese, all hunched into themselves.

The cold air burns your lungs after 10 minutes.

But I listened to Pandora with Britney Spears – that keeps you running. She’s good music to run to. “You wanna piece o’ me?”

We are each in the midst of a community — work, school, or family. Yet, at times, we feel alone. More times than I care to admit, I have written in my journal, ‘I’m so lonely!’ Yet how can I feel so alone when I am so often in a crowd?

What makes for community? How can I create community? Is there a path to becoming more communal and more loving? I looked for answers in Taizé.

Taizé was founded fifty years ago by Brother Roger who professed the power of Christian forgiveness, simplicity, and love. Four years ago Brother Roger was killed in the Taizé church, the Church of Reconciliation, by a deranged woman. After the murder, the brothers and the pilgrims still gathered for prayer. They forgave the woman. They prayed for love, the kind of love Brother Roger professed.

Along with ten members of the Greater New Jersey Annual Conference of The United Methodist Church, I was a pilgrim to the Taizé monestary in Burgundy, France. From October 11th to 18th, I was amidst more than 1,200 young people, mostly German students on autumn break.

I asked Brother Emile, a Canadian brother, “How do you make community? How do you 100 brothers from all over — from Catholic, Protestant, Orthodox traditions — live together so peaceably?”

“Forgiveness everyday!” Brother Emile replied. “Especially the everyday wounds.”

“It helps that we are from different countries. Because one can think, ‘Maybe it’s a cultural barrier and that person just has a different understanding,’” Brother Emile said.

While the brothers shared the value of forgiveness, I believe they also shared other values including:

Following Jesus’s footsteps

Giving unconditional love

Mentoring young people

Singing together

Learning together

Creating silence and space for reflection

Sharing a love of travel and global understanding

Celebrating ecumenism

Remaining open to individuals at times leaving the community to spread the word

Small Groups

In the late morning after a brother’s bible study, the adults met in small groups. At first our group consisted of four Danish people and four Americans. But soon we were joined by a German retiree, a Finnish religion teacher, and a Dutch piano tuner. We answered Brother Wolfgang’s questions: “What would you like to win or achieve in life? What currency does Jesus use to define winning in life?”

We agreed that to trade in the currency Jesus valued, we must exchange more love. We talked about the times we felt loved in God’s kingdom or community. We discussed whether heaven was reserved for Christians. As our times together progressed, we continued to talk about the big questions, such as: What happens when you die? How do we share the Good News? Who is Jesus now?

One evening Brother Alois, Brother Roger’s successor, spoke in the sanctuary before the evening service. He said in life, we need, “love, play, unity.” He said we need freedom and institutions.

“We need institutions. Here, in Taizé we have the institution of the bells ringing three times a day. That is our institution.” Brother Alois emphasized that we must work within institutions to make them more open and less judgmental. I believe that was the gist of his remarks. However, his words were being simultaneously translated from German into English. The Abbott’s remarks were cut short by the ringing of the bells. Brother Alois shrugged apologetically, as if to say, ‘There is our institution at work – bells ringing three times a day for worship.’

The Service

The worship at Taizé was very simple. There was singing, scripture, and silence. Once a day, there was communion. On Saturday night there was a candle lighting service, signifying the resurrection of Easter. At that service, the children were the first to light the candles and pass the light. The small group of children was beautifully diverse. The experience of being led by the children was moving. I wished my children were with me to witness the beauty of the candlelight and song. The singing never failed to inspire awe. The harmonies! And then, there was the silence, which lasted between five to ten minutes at each service. The silence reverberated with meaning and comfort.

On the altar, there was an orthodox-style crucifix. There was a jumble of about a hundred cement blocks with candles within. It’s easy to imagine that the candles symbolized the light within each of us — those of us at Taizé and beyond. We each have a light within and we lean, round shouldered, like cement blocks, one upon another. I think is one clue as to what makes for community — an ability to lean upon one another.

Most of the service, we faced the altar, but for the reading of scripture, we turned towards the center of the church. I was struck by the beauty of hearing Jesus’s message read in several languages.

Something happened at the end of one of the evening services. Instead of processing out, some of the brothers stood like sentinels around the perimeter of the sanctuary. People approached them to confess their sins, tell their stories, or ask for guidance.

On that first night when the brothers were available for counsel, I asked for prayers and healing. I won’t tell you specifically what we talked about. But when the brother laid his heavy hand on my head, I felt truly blessed and protected. I felt I was in community.

The last night at Taizé, after the service, Brother Emile stood beside where I sat cross-legged. I admit I felt responsible for him, because no one was approaching him to ask for guidance or forgiveness (probably because he spoke English first and most at Taizé that week spoke German). So I went to him. I asked for traveling mercies for our group from New Jersey.

Brother Emile laid his hand on my head and prayed something like, “Jesus, forgive your friend, Mary Beth.” Maybe that was his standard prayer because I did not ask for his forgiveness. And this may be another clue as to what makes for community — receiving forgiveness even when you don’t ask for it. I admit I liked that Brother Emile called Jesus my friend.

Challenges

Taizé, like all monastic life I imagine, is not without its hardships. For example, the living quarters are tight. The bunk beds are hard. You receive one large, ladled serving – maybe pasta, couscous, or rice and beans – at mealtime on a plastic plate with one utensil, a large spoon. The seats in the tents for meals and bible study are wobbly wooden benches. In the sanctuary, you sit or kneel on the floor. The sanctuary was warm, but outdoors it was cold.

I went to Taizé to lead a contemplative life. Yet, if truth be told, I also snuck away. I discovered treasures in the neighboring French countryside. I savored a precious cup of French coffee at a café and time away to write in my journal.

Yet never once, while on my pilgrimage to Taizé, did I ever complain in my journal, ‘I’m so lonely.’ I was a part of something bigger. I was a part of a communty. That made me feel so good.

We had a very good thing, you and I. We went everywhere together, museums, plays, the beach, the bathroom.

But it’s over now. I must turn you in. We’ve been together almost four years . I slid you on your side – fingered sweet nothings on your back.

Now the IT department recalls you. The company says it must “right-size” and that means that we, Level 14s, must turn in our companions. And purchase our own.

You, my phone, asked nothing of me. Unlike my boss, you gave me no deadlines. Unlike my kids, you gave me no backtalk.

Oh phone – oh Cingular 8125 – you were there for me without fail. All you asked was to be plugged in now and then. A small charge and you were happy. You took pictures and you took calendar items. You called and emailed my coworkers and friends for me. And I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to sending a text or two through you – “HH has started. Where r u?” (Thank you, oh phone, for your discretion.) The kids played games on you, especially Bubble Breaker.

But now, the IT people will have you. You’ll be shoved in Richie Jackson’s messy, cable-filled drawer. You’ll be forgotten and your happy ringtone heard no more.

But I’ll remember the sledding pictures from Central Park, the time I dropped you in the toilet, the times we stared at one another.

Oh, Cingular 8125, we have loved and now we are lost.

Hey, does anyone know if the Verizon Droid is any good?

I sent this email to about a dozen colleagues.

I like following trends at the Pew Research Center.

If you get a little time – 20 mins. – it’s worth it to watch this – Tom Rosenstiel on “The Future of News” from NPR.

He says a lot of what I’ve been thinking about journalism. It’s especially relevant for those of us doing media for the United Methodist Church. 

News is immediate, brief, interactive, unbundled, diffuse, browsed, international, community-based.

http://pewresearch.org/docs/?DocID=108

 When we stayed in Chautauqua last summer, my sister pointed out a hydrangea and remarked, “Probably, that perennial has bloomed here every summer for more than 100 years.” Indeed, in Chautauqua, gardens, people, and ideas have blossomed for a very long time. Like a perennial, Chautauqua sprouts, grows, ages, appears to die, then blooms again.

History

When Chautauqua Institution was founded in 1874 by several Methodists, their aim was to encourage Christians to engage with the world in a rigorous and intellectual way. This spiritual, learning and arts center in Western New York was a response to the era’s histrionic emotionalism exhibited at evangelical meetings.  

Chautauqua became a movement. From its inception as a place to engage Sunday School teachers in substantive Bible studies, it has become what it is today — a mecca for people of faith who seek to deepen their understanding of life’s meaning through religion, the arts, culture, and the humanities.

It’s hard to imagine that at one point most U.S. citizens knew about or had attended Chautauqua or one of its events. In 1924, its peak year, the traveling Chautauqua circuit visited 10,000 communities and more than 40 million people attended Chautauqua programs.

As an ecumenical and interfaith institute, Chautauqua continues to stand for “earnestness and breadth of vision and it is again becoming a leader in meeting the new religious needs of today.” (From an article entitled, “Aggressive Christianity at Chautauqua,” in the weekly Chautauqua newsmagazine written August 23, 1913.)

Tens of thousands of people continue to visit Chautauqua during its nine-week summer season. In 2009, I was one of those thousands of Chautauquans looking for rest, revitalization, and religious reconnection. 

Fenton Deaconess Home

When I mention to friends, even church friends, that I had a great time in Chautauqua last summer, most of them stare at me blankly. None of my friends had heard of Chautauqua. So I’ve taken it upon myself to spread the word.

I learned about Chautauqua Institution when I worked in the finance department of The Women’s Division about six years ago. I learned The Women’s Division owns two summer homes there: the Fenton Memorial Deaconess Home and The United Methodist Missionary Vacation Home.

I longed to visit, but the photos in the brochure did not show any children. Among my three children, not one is a shrinking violet. However, Marva Usher-Kerr, Women’s Division staff, encouraged me to visit with kids in tow. Since then, my children have grown up a little (even though I told them not to). Last spring, Becky Louter, Deaconess office, also nudged me to make a pilgrimage to Chautauqua. The kids and I could stay in the deaconess home.  

I reasoned that my kids might be ready. So as part of my professional leave from Global Ministries in the summer of ’09, my sister and I spent a week at Chautauqua. We took over the Fenton Deaconess Home with our combined six children between the ages of 6 and 12. Almost all of us had a single room at the Fenton Home.

The registration letter recommends a donation to the Fenton Home of about $39/day a person. The Fenton Home has six single rooms and one double room. The cost was well worth it! However, deaconesses can stay in the home and receive a gate pass for free. (The gate fee to enter the institution is pricey, about $354 for the week. There are fees for parking and for the Boys’ and Girls’ Club, too.)

My 9-year old twin daughters had never before slept in single rooms. They showed their maturity by making their beds and tidying up their cozy rooms every day, tucking their stuffed animals under the white bedspreads.

Penny Krug was the deaconess hostess at the red-brick home. She and her lovable husband, Charlie, were completely unfazed by our little brood. Penny provided good company, delicious lunches and breakfasts, a beautiful (and tidy!) home to share, and the daily newspaper with our coffee at breakfast-time.

One day we were all excited at breakfast to discover that my six-year old nephew Joey’s picture appeared in the newspaper. There he was, eating cake, celebrating the birthday of the Chautauqua Symphony.

The Fenton Deaconess Home is located near Thunder Bridge, so called because bikes rumble over the bridge. Next summer (and I do hope to make it back) I will try to bring bikes. But I won’t need to bring bike locks. No one locks their bikes at Chautauqua. The trees near the Fenton Home were eminently huggable. I hugged the trees and smelled the flowers every day.

We made good use of the tennis and basketball courts and playground near our home. We made lots of friends on the playground, including a Brazilian missionary family. At a women’s ministry luncheon I met Dean Maxine Beach from Drew Theological University. The chaplain for the week was Rev. Barbara Lundblad, who officiated at my marriage 14 years ago.

Classes, Lectures & Kids’ Clubs

The week was a chance to catch up with old friends and make new ones. Chautauqua offers almost any kind of class that one can imagine. I had considered joining a women’s sharing circle, a digital photography class or a history of Chautauqua architecture survey. But I settled on two standbys: watercolor painting and non-fiction writing.

After my morning art class, I met my sister for the lecture at the 7,000 seat ampitheater. The theme for the week was, “What Makes Us Moral: An Abrahamic Perspective.” The first lecture was given by Elie Wiesel, Nobel laureate, author, and survivor of a Nazi Concentration Camp.

Other lecturers at various venues that week included: Bishop Gene Robinson of the Episcopal Church, Harvey Cox of Harvard University, Dr. Leila Nadya Sadat of the International Criminal Court, Dr. Robert Michael Franklin of Morehouse University, Dr. Ralph Williams from the University of Michigan; and Dr. Michael Gazzaniga from the Center for the Study of the Mind, University of California.

While we listened to the morning lectures, our children attended the Boys’ and Girls’ Club, the oldest daycamp in the country.

On the first day of day camp, I asked my oldest, “What did you do today?”

“We went sailing,” my son answered. A first!

Other activities with the children included: juggling by the Gizmo Guys; a Star Trek movie at the cinema; the Bat Chat, a scientific discussion on bats; a Pas de Deux ballet from the North Carolina; and a comedy performance by Jason Alexander.  

One rainy day we jumped into the indoor YMCA-like community center pool. We left the small-town life one night to eat at a nearby Italian restaurant. Most other nights we ate at the snack bar near the town center by the Bestor Plaza fountain. One night we dined at Hurlbut United Methodist Church for an old-fashioned Thanksgiving feast. There, we kept our young server very busy. Little Joey traded his bright green pistachio pie for a gooey cherry pie.

Going Back

Towards the end of the week, my sister and I found ourselves listening to a lecture on discernment while doing a jigsaw puzzle on the wide porch of the Methodist Home, another United Methodist residence. I felt we’d come home. We chatted with the friendly hostess, Carol Cunius.

While we did attend many lectures and activities in Chautauqua, this memory of sitting on the porch, just hanging out with my sister was a highlight. It felt right, like we were pieces in the big puzzle. We fit in. Even with our kids, we had become like those perennial flowers, blooming in Chautauqua.

To learn more about the deaconess community or find out more about Fenton Deaconess Home in Chautauqua, call the Deaconess Program Office 212-870-3850 or Email:
deaconess@gbgm-umc.org

To find out about the other Women’s Division owned property, the United Methodist Missionary Vacation Home, you may contact Bill and Carol Cunius

540-856-2861 (Oct. 15-May 15)

716-357-9544 (May 20-Sept. 10)

or email: wcunius@shentel.net

To learn more about the Chautauqua Institution, visit their website at: http://www.ciweb.org/

I’ve been thinking about thinking… about

mind

character

commitment

community

Especially I’ve been wondering What makes for community? When I was on my sabbatical I was often thrust into community – at Chautauqua, Alliance Francaise, Taize. At times, I had no choice. I had to go along and get along.

Yes, I am resilience, but I, like everyone, can be uncomfortable moving out of my comfort zone.

I just heard a lecture on critical thinking from the headmaster of Riverdale Country school. He is particularly brilliant. here’s his blog.

http://rcsblog.com/headmaster/

One point Dominic made was that schools are not there simply to have students regurgitate facts but to learn to be

global

service minded

inclusive

healthy

I believe we are called to do this too in our work.

That rather than judging students or coworkers merely on academics, we could look at each other’s capacity for curiosity, zest, self control (delayed gratification), gratitude, hope/optimism, and social intelligence.

Perhaps then we could find the brilliance of one another.

On Saturday, I ran to the end of the 70th Street pier in Riverside Park. As I passed the kayak launch site, empty now, I wished that I could see that harbor seal again. The one with the one droopy whisker and the big black eyes.

About a year ago, Max, the doorman, told me a seal was hanging out at the boat basin. At dusk, I took the kids to see it. Our photo didn’t turn out, but there it was at the boat basin. The next week it was at the kayak launch site. It was yawning and stretching. Just lookin’ around.

We dialed 3-1-1. The animal rescue or marine biology people (or whomever 3-1-1 connected us to) said they would not come rescue it, because – from what we described, it was healthy.

After all, it was a harbor seal in a harbor. No matter that the harbor was the Hudson River.

On my weekend run this time, the only wildlife I saw were squirrels, ducks, and, I’m not sure they count – dogs. I didn’t even see one of the red-tailed hawks near the 80th street playground. They’re so vast you’d think they could swoop down and, with their talons, grab a toddler.

The best part of running in New York City is the wildlife. And when you run again, you remember.

WUK8XEF8JMDN

I ran with Hayden on the newly-paved Camp Dudley Road past the school house. We ran down towards the Stable Inn.

The field of wildflowers was all gone.

The best part of the run was the several dozen woodpeckers – small, fluffy, industrious - in a flock on the spindley trees of Lake Shore Road. One dive-bombed us, letting us know, “This is our world! Beat it! Aren’t you city folk? Get on back to your city!”

We did. Or at least walked back up to our house. We walked up the Old Dug Road.

Our toes got wet. After all, when you run through a field where wildflowers once grew and woodpeckers now rule, you are going to have to pay. It is a small price in discomort but there is a big pay off too.

The pay off is in knowing that there are places in this world that are not ruled by humans, there are places where woodpeckers rule.

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